First off let me say this, having a cuckold for a husband is not for everybody, even if this is what the husband wants. Another way to look at this is that the woman is going to be the one getting fucked, and what if she doesn’t want that? I understand that there will be a few men who will read this so I want to make sure that I make this perfectly clear to you men; coercing a woman into doing this will doom your relationship to failure. I liken it to swallowing sperm, some women do it and some do not, but telling a woman you want her to swallow is very different to the woman actually doing it. If she has no desire to do so she will hate it and hate you for coercing her into doing it.
Same goes for you ladies. Trying to convince a man to allow you to fuck other men is fraught with dangers. It is one thing to express your desire to do so and something entirely else to actually fuck another man. Some women will cheat on their husbands but this too is fraught with danger, especially if she has any desire to remain married to her husband.
For Mark and I this was a relatively easy decision, but make no mistake about it, we both had to do some soul searching to make this decision. While the final decision to do this came rather easily, the way we arrived at that decision took some time, as well as asking each-other LOTS of questions. Anyway, Mark somehow was able to take notice of my needs and I am very grateful to him for perceiving this about me, even though I was unable to recognize what was going on with myself. And isn’t that the way of things? We see so clearly what others miss about themselves but are completely incapable of seeing our own needs for what they are.
In my case Mark and I were perfectly aligned with each of our needs. Mark was able to see what I needed and he himself had the same desire. It is a beautiful thing to have such a symbiotic relationship and having matching needs and desires. For me, I have a ‘need’ to have sex with men who have big cocks and Mark has a desire to see a big cock fuck me. Mark has a ‘need’ to see my sexual life fulfilled and I have a desire to please him. I have amazing orgasms from big cocks and a desire to have them, but my sex life with my husband is far more rewarding to me.
Too often many people think that a cuckold relationship is one where the wife is fulfilled and the husband is chaste. This is just silly pornographic crap. I know a few women who have cuckolds for husbands and not a one of them would deny their husbands sexual release. Now, to-be-sure, some of these women do practice denial to some extent, and even Mark and I do when we are preparing for a sexual triste with one of my lovers. But the denial isn’t of sex, rather of release. Mark will want to ‘withhold’ ejaculation for several days before my lover and I have sex so that his sexual heat is heightened. This is not denial of sex, and to be honest I know of no wife that partakes of this particular fetish in my circle of friends. But that is just anecdotal and not meant to be a means test. As is often the case, to each their own.
So for this work I will discuss how Mark and I manage this relationship and hopefully it will be of use to you. With Mark I have a true partner, someone who is just as interested in my pleasure as I am in my own. And the same can be said in reverse, I am just as interested in Mark’s pleasure as I am my own. So, for us at least, we each receive pleasure when the other is pleased. I can’t tell you how much joy I receive each time I look into Mark’s eyes as I’m being plowed by a big cock. It is easy to see the pleasure he is receiving by the look on his face, the intensity that he is watching me with.
Each time I near my orgasm I force myself to look at Mark and not my lover. At first I had to conscientiously make the effort to look at Mark to see if he was enjoying what he was seeing, but now I totally get off on it. Here I am, the cock of another man thrusting deeper into me than Mark can go, and I look at my husband and what do I see? Pleasure, pure, unadulterated pleasure. Mark is getting off on watching his wife taking a big cock and I am getting off taking said big cock.
I must admit that it is a strange sensation to have your husband hold your hand while you have the cock of another man deep inside you. Even more so to have your husband kissing you deeply while you have another man’s cock wedged inside your pussy. Each time Mark does this I get a mass of chills down my spine, thrilled at the erotic mischief of it all. My mind races and naughty thoughts spring to mind. I have asked Mark, many times, what he is thinking in those moments of passionate kissing while another man is fucking me and he always says the same thing: I am thinking that I’m kissing the woman I love as she is being fucked by a man who has a bigger cock than me. I am also wondering if this woman I love can tell the difference between me and her lover. Oh, I can Mark, I really, really can!
You might be thinking at this point that my relationship to Mark is one of sex, sex, sex, but you would be very, very, wrong. While sex is an important part of our lives as a couple, very important you might say, but our lives are much like any other couples lives. We shop together, we watch movies together, we talk about all of the things other couples do. So yes, I have sex with other men while my husband is faithful to me, but that is not all of our relationship. In fact, I’d say that even if we were not in a cuckolding relationship that Mark and I would be just fine. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to give up my lovers, but my relationship with Mark is vastly more important to me than my having sex with other men. So, if for one reason or another I had to give up my lovers for Mark I’d do so in a heartbeat, I wouldn’t even have to think about it.
I once had a very close friend of mine who was also in a cuckolding relationship lose her husband to cancer at a relatively young age. She quit having sex with other men for the last two years that her husband was alive. She did this out of love for her husband and because he could no longer enjoy sexual relations with his wife. He had told her that he wanted her to keep having sex with her lovers but she refused. I think that act alone proved to him how much his wife loved and respected him as a man and as her husband. It was an act of devotion that heartens me.
So no, a cuckold relationship is not one of nymphomania, it is a relationship of respect and love. The husband should never force his wife to have sex with a man she didn’t want and the wife should never have sex with a man the husband did not approve of. Such is disrespectful of the other partner and this is supposed to be fun and exciting, not demeaning and humiliating.
I know, you might be thinking to yourself that your spouse wants to be humiliated, but let’s look a little closer at that. Let us say that the husband gets a sexual charge out of his wife telling him that he has a small dick like Mark does. So the question is, does Mark get a sexual charge from his wife humiliating him about his small dick? In Mark’s case, absolutely not. Rather, Mark is thrilled from the knowledge that his wife knows that he has a small dick. That’s all, nothing more to it than that.
You will notice that I am not telling Mark that his dick is useless to me and can’t possibly pleasure me. That is humiliating and not something that I would be interested in, no matter how much Mark might plead with me to do so (though, to be sure, he has never made a request like that). The same can be said of my lovers. I would never tolerate them attempting to humiliate my husband by saying something stupid like he had a useless dick. What a turn-off for me. Of course, to each their own, but that is not what Mark and I are into.
This is not to say that Mark doesn’t like being teased about his small dick, he most certainly does, and I enjoy doing so regularly and with great relish at opportune times. For example, I might lean over to him while we are at a restaurant and wonder aloud if our waiter has a bigger cock than he does (Mark gets very hard whenever I do that, which is infrequent just to keep him on his toes). Or I might, when we have friends over for a football game or some such thing, remind Mark that he has a small dick when he happens to be ogling one of his friends wives. Again, he immediately becomes hard at hearing me say these things to him. But these things are just teasing, never meant to harm but rather to titillate. And please don’t think that I don’t enjoy teasing him about his small dick as well, because I most certainly do.
A friend of mine who is a psychiatrist once told me that some men enjoy such teasing because it validates to them that which they are already fully aware of. As she put it, some men who have small penises want to be teased about it because they already know that their penis is small. This teasing, she said, serves to remind them that their wife or partner is aware of their small penis and yet they are still with them. This is a form of validation of them as men, and also serves to validate them as a suitable lover.
The same cannot be said of the man who desires emasculation. He, on the other hand, derives pleasure from the wife or partner saying that he is unsuitable as a lover. This, my psychiatrist friend said, is very rare. Most of these men suffer dearly from their dysfunction and feel that they are only worthy of derision and humiliation. I am saddened when I think of these men.
So, enough of that, and now back to the theme of this piece, how to have a successful cuckolding relationship. I cannot stress this hard enough, to have a successful cuckolding relationship you must have a trust in the relationship that most couples never obtain. Such trust can only be obtained by truthfulness, complete truthfulness about you as a woman or a man, and those things that you desire and need in the relationship. Such truthfulness and trust can only come about through time, and throughout that time the trust and truthfulness were not compromised.
For Mark and I, we did not begin cuckolding until 10 years into our marriage, but I’d like to think we could have started around years 3 or 4 if we had each been more upfront about our needs and desires. Many times did Mark tell me that he wished he had ‘more’ to offer me, speaking of his dick. Once I had begun seeking out lovers, with Mark’s approval I might add, I reflected back on those times that he expressed his insecurity in this matter. Today it is obvious to me what he was trying to convey, and Mark now can see it as well.
So let me tell you a little about some of the things we like and those we do not like. This way you can gauge for yourself your own desires in this matter. And for the couples who are reading this it is my hope that this will be instructive and helpful to you to discuss these things and make up your own minds as to what you want and what you need and what you will not tolerate.
Safe sex or bare-backing –
Mark and I practice both safe sex as well as unprotected sex with my lovers. Currently I have 3 lovers that we play with, only one of whom we have unprotected sex with. So let me first say that if you want to be smart about cuckolding then please practice safe sex, especially when you are with a new man.
The two men that we practice safe sex with I only hook-up with every 6 months or so. These men live in different cities than where Mark and I live, making it difficult for us to get together to play. And since these men are still sexually active with other partners I will continue to insist on safe sex with them. Mark is in complete agreement with me in this matter, neither of us wants to contract an STD.
But for the one that we have unprotected sex with, well, he lives 3 doors down from us and we are in constant contact. Deshaun has never been married, has no children and has never sought out a companion for a permanent relationship. He is perfect for both Mark and I in that he only has sex with me and this allows me to continue to have sex with him without using a condom.
So allow me to tell you a little bit about Deshaun. And to be perfectly upfront with you about my predilections, let me start out by saying that I have a ‘thing’ for black men. Mostly because it is a major turn-on for me to see the contrast of their ebony skin against my pale skin. That and, of course, because of the taboo nature of the act. I might also add that for Mark this is exciting as well. You see, Mark and I like the same things when it comes to sex and our sexuality, and this makes our sexual relationship so pleasant and fulfilling.
Anyway, Deshaun is just over 6 feet tall, compared to my 5′ 2″ and Mark’s 5’10”. We met Deshaun at the gym some 8 years ago and have been together ever since. Both Mark and Deshaun are the same age, 47, and each has a very kinky streak running deep inside them. In Deshaun’s case he loves the fact that he gets to fuck a married woman in front of her husband and in Mark’s case he loves to watch his wife getting fucked by another man. A perfect fit don’t you think?
So for those of you who are interested, Deshaun doesn’t have the longest cock I have ever had, but he is pretty close (yes, I measured, just like I do all of my men. I’m just naughty that way!). And while he is not the longest, just under 8 inches, his is the thickest, 5 ¾ diameter. The longest cock I have been with is just over 9 inches, but I couldn’t take all of him in me, so to me that is a waste of perfectly good cock. Not only that, but the 9 incher only knew how to pound a pussy and not to pleasure it, so he wasn’t a good fit for me in that regard.
Since Deshaun has such a fat cock I always get the sensation of being very full when I am with him. Very full and very stretched, it is quite erotic. Mark in particular loves to fuck me right after I have been with Deshaun. Mark says that my pussy feels so warm and open that he can’t stand it and ejaculates very quickly, which excites me very much since I almost always get the pleasure of having two men ejaculating their sperm into my pussy.
Another thing that both Mark and I appreciate about Deshaun are his enormous testicles. In truth, I have never seen bigger, either in person or in porn, and he has marvelous ejaculations that fill my pussy up very nicely. Since we only have sex with him once or twice a month Deshaun always comes over fully loaded. Also, Deshaun is a vegetarian, so according to Mark his sperm tastes rather yummy (no, I do not swallow his sperm, but I do taste some of it from time to time).
So when it comes to safe sex or bare-backing, please use your head, and no I don’t mean your dick head.
To invite him to your home or to meet at a hotel –
This is a difficult question to answer since it can be fraught with emotion. Think about it, if you bring a man home to play with you will eventually end up having sex in your own bed, the same bed you have sex with your husband on. So this is something that you really need to talk about before bringing somebody home.
Another thing to consider, if you bring a man to your home then he will know where you live and that can be problematic. Deshaun is the only man Mark and I have invited into our home to play with, but that was a risk that we took without really thinking about it. Now that I have a few years under my belt of cuckolding I would advise anybody against doing this, for what I hope are obvious reasons.
First of all, if the guy happens to be the possessive type then you could bump into real problems if he knows where you live. Also, for some couples the marriage bed is sacrosanct and should not be violated. For me personally I don’t really care one way or another, as long as Mark is good with it then in this case so am I. Mark says that he gets a taboo thrill out of me having sex with Deshaun in our bed. I don’t get it, but I’m fine with giving him this thrill since it really doesn’t matter to me one way or another.
Another issue you might bump into if you and your lover are having sex in your home is the problem of children, family and friends finding out. Most family members would not only disapprove of your lifestyle in this regard, but so would most of your friends. And I can promise you that your children most certainly will not understand (more on this in the next section), so maybe you should just pay for the hotel and cover your bases that way. Besides, there is the additional safety and security you get when you play at a hotel than that which you will find in your own home. Most people don’t have cameras watching everybody enter and leave their homes, but most hotels certainly do.
What type of man is right for us –
The type of man you chose to invite into your relationship is very important. Especially so if you have children. Such things as cuckolding can be very confusing to children, no matter their age. I have a girlfriend whose daughter caught her having sex with a man that wasn’t her father, and even after her Dad told her that it was consensual for the both of them, she never could understand and now wants to have nothing to do with her parents. This is a terrible outcome I’m sure you would agree. The daughter was 23 at the time she caught her mother with another man, so age has nothing to do with it. Consider this a puritanical holdover from a bygone age, kids still can’t see their parents as being sexual beings.
For Mark and I the type of man we look for begins and ends with intelligence. If the man has a giant cock but is stupid, what fun is that? We have found that the more intelligent the lover the better the sex. Not only that, but if the lover is intelligent then he will most likely also be discreet. A side benefit of a discreet man is that he isn’t very inclined to become emotionally attached to you, but that is another subject that I will comment on extensively in a moment.
For us, we prefer our men black, well hung, intelligent, poised and unattached. A married man comes with baggage that we simply don’t want to deal with, so we go for single men, even if they are in an ‘open’ relationship. We have tried this twice before and each time it ended very messy, so never again.
Something that we are most definitely not attracted to are the thug, domineering, or the quintessential ‘bull’ types. I find such men rather boring and cliché. I know there are lots of women who appreciate such men, but for my tastes I’m just not interested. I have no interest in being ‘manhandled’ or tossed around, nor am I gymnast, so no contortions for me. Rather, I want to feel deeply, experience deeply, love deeply and have deep sex. Is that so wrong?
Finally, the last thing we look for is hygiene. Both Mark and I can’t stand body hair, so we groom ourselves in this fashion and want our lovers to do so as well. This is not to say that I won’t have sex with a lover who has body hair, I will, it is just a preference for us is all. And truth be known, if we are successful in convincing our lover to shave for us, they typically will find that they enjoy the look as well. There is nothing like seeing a well-built black man, muscles rippling, cock engorged and standing at attention, testicles hanging low from the weight of the sperm they are holding, completely void of body hair to obstruct the wondrous view. It is such sights that I long for. And for the purists that are reading this, Mark too is very well built, just not in the dick department. But I love to see him standing such none-the-less and always get turned on by the sight of him.
Emotional attachment –
Emotional attachments are a quagmire you don’t want to find yourself caught in. A couple we knew in Cleveland who dabbled lightly in cuckolding found themselves in the unfortunate position of having a lover fall in love with the wife. This led to stalking and other unsavory things. It got so bad that they had to move out of the city and change jobs since the lover knew where she worked, and therefore her coworkers knew that she had sex with him. Believe me, this happens all too often, so bold bluntness is very important when interviewing a potential lover. And when I say ‘interviewing,’ I mean exactly that.
One of the ways you can avoid the pitfall of emotional attachment from a lover is by properly interviewing them before you engage in sexual relations with them. When Mark and I are interviewing a prospective lover we will ask them about prior relationships that they have had. This allows us to decipher any lingering issues that they may have. These types of questions will also reveal whether or not they are seeking a more permanent relationship or if they are just out for a bit of fun. Also, keep in mind that some men are emotional wrecks and become easily attached to the woman they are having sex with. Stay far away from these types of men, no matter how beautiful they are to your eyes, they are dangerous and will in the end cause you headaches you truly do not want.
Another thing to keep in mind are your own emotions. I don’t think couples who are considering cuckolding give this enough thought. The female in the relationship may have a need to have sex with another man, and the man in the relationship may have a desire to see his wife having sex with another man, but this does not mean that the two of you are ready to experience this type of relationship. While I have never experienced this myself, nor do I have any friends who play with cuckolding that this has happened to, but it has been known for the woman to fall in love with the lover, thereby shattering a marriage. The old axiom Know Thyself rings true. If you have a long standing relationship with your husband and know him very well, and if he too knows you very well then you will probably do just fine. The problem is, as I see it, is that the woman does not adequately know her position in the relationship before they begin to engage in cuckoldry.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the men that I have sex with, but I am not IN love with these men. Each is a fantastic lover in their own rights, but none of them are worth losing my husband over. If tomorrow Mark said that he wanted me to stop having sex with my lovers then I would stop that very day. I might be disappointed, but I would stop. It is because I am IN love with Mark that I would stop. Enjoying big cock sex is great, fantastic in fact, and the orgasms are equally fantastic, but my love for Mark is better than fantastic in every way. I may not get to have big cock orgasms any more, but I would still get orgasms because Mark would give them to me.
And to you gentlemen who are reading this and are considering asking your wives to cuckold you I say this, Know Thyself. Mark would be the first to tell you that it is a very different thing to want your wife to fuck another man and something completely different to see your wife penetrated by another man. For some the fantasy is more secure than the reality.
In preparation for the section I asked Mark to give me some insight into the male’s mind when it comes to watching your wife having sex with a man who has a bigger cock. I think both you men as well as you women who are reading this might find this section particularly enlightening, I know I did. Below are Mark’s words, unedited along with the questions I asked him.
What is it that you like about me having sex with men who have larger cocks than you have?
That is an easy question. I get turned on watching your face, your reactions as your lover enters you. And what do you see?
Pleasure. Don’t misunderstand me, I also love watching that big cock sliding in and out of you. But you asked what I liked about you having sex with bigger cocks, and the answer to that is I like seeing your facial reactions to the pleasure you are receiving from your lovers. Don’t you get jealous from seeing me having sex with men who are bigger than you?
Why would I? While I may be competing with them in the sense of who gives you the best orgasms, but other than that I don’t have to compete with them at all. You are mine, you sleep in my bed, and you wake up next to me. The competition ends when you have your orgasm. So other than the orgasm department, you feel no competition with the men I have sex with?
Exactly! It is like this, since to me you are the most beautiful when you are in the throes of orgasm, I get to witness your beauty from all sorts of angles, instead of straight on. Not only this, but I too get to experience what you are experiencing, albeit from a man’s perspective. So what if I were to tell you that I prefer a big cock over a small dick?
Well, duh! This I already know and completely support. I know you prefer a big cock over a small dick and I am perfectly fine with that. I prefer Italian food over Mexican food, does that mean I can’t enjoy Mexican food? No, of course not. A preference is just that, a preference. Now if you were to tell me that my having a small dick was something that you couldn’t tolerate, say like my intolerance of Moroccan food, then that is altogether something different. Don’t worry, I love your small dick Mark.
I know you do! Tell me something about the emotional side of the cuckolded husband?
Now this is a good question. Emotionally the most difficult time I had was our first experience of you having sex with another man. It was a rollercoaster ride, ups and downs, times when my stomach was doing somersaults. But I think that the fact that I was actually there to witness it helped greatly. How so? Because, it was something that we experienced together, as a couple. This wasn’t something shady, hidden, tucked away in the hopes that nobody would find out. I guess you could say that I went into this with my eyes wide open, and this was something that kept me grounded. And as time has passed and our experiences grew, I can now separate the pleasure I receive from you being with another man from the pleasure I receive from you more directly. I’m not sure I understand. What do you mean by ‘separating’ the pleasures?
Okay, let me put it to you this way. When you first started cuckolding me I confused the pleasure I received from you as we were having sex with the pleasure I received watching you with another man. At times I would find myself not able to get as excited as I should when it was just you and I together without one of your lovers. Once I was able to isolate out the reason for that I could fix my error in erotic thinking. Now, I am just as excited by you when I have you all to myself as I am when you are with one of your lovers. Get it?
So you see, Mark and I had an issue, briefly, with his confusing his sexual stimulation. For a period of about six months Mark found it somewhat difficult to be stimulated by me when I wasn’t with one of my lovers.
The way we overcame that was to reduce the amount of times I saw one of my lovers. We went from once a week to once a month with my lovers, still having sex together at least twice a week. This in turn returned Mark to his normal state, allowing us to ‘play’ at cuckolding while still being lovers ourselves.
In summation –
To sum up, I am a firm believer in being completely open with your partner sexually. If Mark and I had not trusted each other sufficiently to be completely honest about our needs and desires we would not have the wonderful sexual relationship that we currently enjoy. Again, cuckolding is not for everybody, but for us it is an enhancement to our relationship and one that I would not relinquish without protest.
This said, I find my relationship to my husband of vastly more importance than I do the orgasms I might enjoy from a man with a big cock. One of the wonderful by-products of this experiment is the ability to be completely honest with Mark about everything; sexual or otherwise. Since we can be completely honest with each-other about our sexual wants and desires we can also be completely honest with everything else. Our sexual ‘selves’ are some of the things we guard most closely. Once we bring down that nasty little barrier, everything else is much easier to talk about.
I hope this essay has been of some help to you, whether you are considering cuckolding or not. One of the things I am most interested in doing for other couples is to encourage a sexual honesty between them that will carry to the rest of their lives. This doesn’t have to stop at cuckoldry, or any other sexual peccadillo for that matter. Wherever your interests lie, lay them bare and trust your spouse. If he or she betrays you, then you have your answer as to whether or not they are worthy of you. I know, it is a big leap of faith, but none-the-less, if the trust is kept then the rewards are great. Great indeed!